Mangling Wednesday is a new category that I am starting and is a light-hearted attempt to put into print the hilarious moments that I come across in my daily life - moments when the English Language is mangled in daily conversations.
There is no intention to mock anyone and neither am I as linguistically sound as I wish I was, and I am as susceptible to committing these faux pas as the next person.
Mangling Wednesday also features a fictional and pompous Professor X, and his attempts to correct, in his own words, " those grave grammatical sins!"
What You Says ?
(Overheard at a cafe about his date yesterday.)
"So, I asked her what she want to eat. She says: "I doesn't know. You choose ok!" So, we went to Long John Silver."
"So, what you all do next?" asked his friend.
"First of all, when you are relating an event in the past, you should say ".....what she WANTED to eat," and it is 'she SAID' and not 'she says.'""It was also atrocious that your......girlfriend said : "I doesn't know!" Only 'he' or 'she' take a 'doesn't know' and 'I', 'you' and 'they' use 'don't know' or 'do not know'."
Turning to the friend : "And it is not "So, what you all do next?" but "So, what did both of you do next?"
"Furthermore, to inject eloquence into your conversations, use 'And' or 'Then' instead of the incessant 'So' that both of you are so fond of!"
The young man glared at Professor X for a second, then turned back to his friend and continued with gusto : "So, I says to her......."
