Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Mangling Wednesday - What You Says?

Mangling Wednesday is a new category that I am starting and is a light-hearted attempt to put into print the hilarious moments that I come across in my daily life - moments when the English Language is mangled in daily conversations.

There is no intention to mock anyone and neither am I as linguistically sound as I wish I was, and I am as susceptible to committing these faux pas as the next person.

Mangling Wednesday also features a fictional and pompous Professor X, and his attempts to correct, in his own words, " those grave grammatical sins!"

What You Says ?
(Overheard at a cafe about his date yesterday.)

"So, I asked her what she want to eat. She says: "I doesn't know. You choose ok!" So, we went to Long John Silver."
"So, what you all do next?" asked his friend.


Unable to contain himself any longer and biological programmed to correct grammatical mistakes, Professor X walked over to the two teenagers and with a huff, said :
"First of all, when you are relating an event in the past, you should say ".....what she WANTED to eat," and it is 'she SAID' and not 'she says.'"

"It was also atrocious that your......girlfriend said : "I doesn't know!" Only
'he' or 'she' take a 'doesn't know' and 'I', 'you' and 'they' use 'don't know' or 'do not know'."

Turning to the friend : "And it is not "So, what you all do next?" but "So, what did both of you do next?"

"Furthermore, to inject eloquence into your conversations, use 'And' or 'Then' instead of the incessant 'So' that both of you are so fond of!"


The young man glared at Professor X for a second, then turned back to his friend and continued with gusto : "So, I says to her......."




9 comments:

clairec23 said...

Great addition to the blog :D

Over here, we have a bad habit of saying "he says" and "says he" - it's a hard one to break!

My Den said...

Claire,
Glad you enjoyed it. Was worried that it comes across as arrogant which is not what I intended. I am as guilty as anyone in committing faux pas in conversational English, guess it is because of the digital age we live in.

Thank you. Regards.

dyosa said...

it reminded me of this girl at a cafe.

girl to a friend: "i didn't had lunch! oh my gosh, i swear. i didn't had lunch."

hehe.

Keli said...

So I thought this was a real cool idea, for you all to do. So I doesn't like to hear peoples talk bad either.

My Den said...

Keli,
LOL! For a moment I thought this was another Keli because the Keli I knew have a command of English that is crisp, sharp and impeccable.

Thanks and I guess you like the idea. But the genesis of Mangling Wednesday actually came from you! Your marvellous observations of a particular human condition was what set me off.

Always great to hear from you. Regards.

Keli said...

I still haven't recovered from the comment I left you and felt compelled to return just in case some one thought I actually spoke/wrote that way. I am quite relieved to find your response. Thank you, and yes, I think, it's a sound idea to remind people of the importance of making an effort to communicate properly.

Jay said...

Definitely interesting, well, looks like I should be checkin' in more on Wednesday, huh? I mean, whatchu say?!

Jay
DatMoney.com
DatCurious.com

cbahm said...

*laughing* Great story!

I love to eavesdrop, just to hear the turn of phrase that makes a person stand out in my memory. I recall one train trip I took from Chicago to Mississippi when I overheard one elderly woman talking with another about someone who had "caught the dialysis and got sugar diabetes."

They both shook their heads gravely at that poor person's misfortune.

I don't think of it as making fun of people to cherish little vignettes like this; it's just a colorful use of our language.

Besides, it's all the little slubs in the weave that make the fabric interesting, don't you think?

My Den said...

Hi cbahm,
Yes, the quirks in the usage of English in conversations does makes life more colorful and is also an example of how the language is constantly evolving.

Hope to hear from you again. Regards.
Dan